A List of Black Girl Anthems You Should Bump All Day, Err Day — Because Why Not?

We all have our days when our spirits need a little lifting, and the right song can do just that! Whether it’s hip-hop, pop or my personal favorite, good ‘ol R&B, I’ve learned music has the power to make your troubles melt like lemon drops. I’ have struggled with self-esteem since I was a young Black girl trying to find herself; thankfully, the perfect song came along every few years that allowed me to celebrate my Black girl/womanhood — unapologetically.

So, here’s a list of Black girl anthems I love to bump whenever I’m feeling down on my luck or just feel like celebrating the day.


“I’m Every Woman” x Chaka Khan
I’m every woman, it’s all in me / Anything you want done baby, I’ll do it naturally.
I can cast a spell / With secrets you can’t tell / Mix a special brew / Put fire inside of you.

“Put Your Records On” x Corinne Bailey Rae
Blue as the sky, sun burn and lonely / Sippin’ tea in a bar by the road side.
Don’t you let those other boys fool you / Gotta love that afro hairdo.

“Video” x India. Arie
I’m not the average girl from your video / And I ain’t built like a supermodel.
But I’ve learned to love myself unconditionally / Because I am a queen.

“Grown Woman” x Beyoncé
I can be bad if I want / I can say what I want
I can live fast if I want / I can go slow all night long.

“Nice for What” x Drake
That’s a real one in your reflection / Without a follow, without a mention.
You really pipin’ up on these n*ggas / You gotta be nice for what to these n*ggas?

“Independent Women, Pt. 1” x Destiny’s Child
Tell me how you feel about this / Do what I want, live how I wanna live.
I worked hard and sacrificed to get what I get / Ladies, it ain’t easy being independent.

“What’s Love Got to Do with It” x Tina Turner
I’ve been taking on a new direction / And I have to say
I’ve been thinking about my own protection / It scares me to feel this way

“F.U.B.U” x Solange
All my n*ggas in the whole world know / Play this song and sing it on your terms
For us, this shit is for us / Don’t try to come for us

“Run the World” x Beyoncé
My persuasion can build a nation
Endless power, with our love we can devour

“Whip My Hair” x Willow Smith
Don’t let haters get me off my grind / Whip my hair, if I know I’ll be fine
Keep fighting until I get there / When I’m down and I feel like giving up (I think again)

“Respect” x Aretha Franklin
Ooo, your kisses / Sweeter than honey
And guess what? / So is my money

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

t Your Records On” x Corinne Bailey Rae

“Grown Woman” x Beyonce

“Video” x India. Arie

“Respect” x Aretha Franklin

“Girl” x The Internet

“Run the World  (Girls)” x Beyonce

“Independent Women, Pt.1” x Destiny’s Child

“Nice for What” x Drake

Advertisements

10 Ways to Love On Yourself Today <3

pexels-photo-813940.jpeg

  1. Meditate. Pray. Speak nice things about yourself.
  2. Binge on your favorite snack food(s) while watching re-runs of Martin.
  3. Do that thing you’ve been putting off for the last month or so … like now.
  4. Start a new book or pick back up on that old one you never finished.
  5. Masturbate.
  6. Take a nice, long walk in the park.
  7. Tell someone you love them.
  8. Unplug from the world (yes, Twitter too) for at least an hour.
  9. Take a relaxing bath. And don’t forget the bubbles.
  10. If all else fails, take a nap. Sleep fixes everything, amirite?

*Did I miss anything? Feel free to comment with your own self-care practices.

Love,
Tanasia K.
XOXO

 

My Issues with the Black Community When It Comes to Addressing Mental Health.

As always, I have a bone to pick with the Black community when it comes to addressing mental health.

As always, I have a bone to pick with the Black community when it comes to addressing mental health. So, here it goes. Also, this post maybe triggering to some Black *Christians. Take my opinions as you wish and feel free to leave your thoughts below.


First off, can we PLEASE STOP telling Black folk to just pray their anxiety / bipolar disorder / depression / PTSD away? We’ve gotta stop NOW. I don’t care how much you believe “God is my therapist” — hear me when I say that YOU CANNOT PRAY MENTAL ILLNESS AWAY. Trust me, I’ve tried.

Think of it this way. Would you advise sista Anna Mae to just pray her cancer away? Or tell your uncle to just talk to God a little longer so his diabetes can be cured? No way …. This sh*t sounds ridiculous. Like any other ailment, mental illness needs to be treated by a  professional, preferably a therapist. Just because you cannot physically see someone’s mental anguish doesn’t make it any less real.

Now, this isn’t to say that prayer doesn’t work, because it definitely does. Rather, I believe we should encourage our loved ones to seek help and talk through their issues. And most importantly, we must have our faith leaders trained to counsel folks grappling with their mental heath issues.

So yeah, the just “pray it away” line is played out. STOP IT, okay?


Another thing that really grinds my gears? Black folks thinking other Black folks don’t contemplate or attempt suicide.

I couldn’t believe the outrageous conspiracy theories people cooked up after news that New York Justice Sheila Abdus-Salaam, the first African-American woman appointed to the state’s highest court, had taken her life. It wasn’t long after that James Whisenant Jr., a Black prosecutor, was found dead on a beach in Hollywood, Fla.

His death was too ruled a suicide.

I saw everything from rumors that they were murdered to claims that their deaths were part of a larger plot to take out Black Americans in positions of power. It’s like we refuse to believe that AA’s – especially the prominent, successful and wealthy ones – experience internal struggles that lead them to suicide.

If anything, events like these are a wake up call that mental illness absolutely DOES NOT discriminate … and that you should probably check on that “strong” friend who seems to always have his/her sh*t together.

giphy (1)

Generational trauma is real. Depression/anxiety/bipolar disorder is real. Suicidal thoughts and actions are real. It’s time we start acknowledging that.

That concludes my mini rant for now. What do you wish the Black community would stop doing to discount the realness of mental illness?

Catch y’all next time. Love always,

Tanasia, XOXO.

Open Letter to the ‘Strong Black Woman’ Suffering In Silence

What makes Black women different from any other person grappling with mental illness? Let’s back up a bit.

So this is a piece I wrote a little over two years ago for one of my other blogs (that kinda fell to the way side lol). But I feel like it’s as relevant today as it was the day I wrote it. Feel free to share your thoughts below …


“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with you.”

“Deal with it. You’ll be alright”

“You don’need therapy. God will take care of it.”

I’ve heard it all before. And there are probably a thousand more dismissive statements like these,  but Lord knows I don’t have time to run through them all.

It’s little quips like these that make mental illness an untouchable topic in the Black community. It’s rarely talked about — if ever.

And if you’re a Black woman? Forget about it. Between juggling school ,work, kids, relationships and whatever else you’ve got going on, there just isn’t enough time left to tend to YOUR needs. Self-care tends to take a backseat to daily responsibilities, especially when you’re already wallowing waist-deep in symptoms of depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, etc. So what makes Black women different from any other person grappling with mental illness? Let’s back up a bit.

As a little girl, I was introduced to the concept of the “Strong Black Woman.” Actually, it was more than a concept — it was my reality. I had strong, beautiful Black women all around me: my mother, sister, grandmothers, aunts, teachers, family friends, you name it. So naturally, I bought into this “persona” and aspired to be her.

She was the definition of independence and oozed confidence from every pore. She served as the backbone of the family, holding everything (and everyone) together like glue. She did whatever she had to do to get the job done, making the seemingly impossible, possible. She was a multi-tasker, like one of those plate spinners balancing 4, 5, 6 plates at a time. Hell, she was damn near Superwoman. But of course, things aren’t always what they seem.

“The Strong Black Woman” is expected to do it all and never break a sweat. She better not cry, flinch, complain, bitch, moan or groan about it because it’s what she’s SUPPOSED to do. All that “emotional” stuff is dealt with behind closed doors, mental illness included.

The pressure to hold it together, coupled with the shame of dealing with mental illness in secrecy is enough to make anyone crack. However, the lack of availability / affordability of mental health care often leaves low-income women of color with few options,  exacerbating the problem. Let’s not forget about the unfavorable reactions we sometimes get from loved ones when we finally get the gumption to speak on what we’re going through.

And so, with the pressure to be perfect weighing her down, the limited opportunities to get help and the slew of negative stigmas attached to her mental state, the “Strong Black Woman” retires to her bedroom and continues to suffer in silence.

To that woman, I want to say you’re not alone. You never were. You may be hurting and in pain, but it’s not to late to take control and turn it around. YOU are in charge of your own happiness.

“Strong Black Woman” is your descriptor, NOT your identity. Underneath, you’re a human with wants and needs, thoughts and feelings, strengths and weaknesses. There’s no reason to be afraid to let the world see.

Lastly (and most importantly), if you need help, reach out NOW. The sooner the better. It’s time you finally put yourself first. And when you do, I promise this gets better.

Sending all my love and encouragement your way.

Sincerely,

A “Strong Black Woman” who refused to suffer in silence ❤